As the pick-up coach meandered from the airport slowly making its way towards the centre of IL Mercato Promenade, it was then I first clapped eyes on Iberotel IL Mercato Hotel. Although it was near midnight, there was no mistaken this newly built property’s grandeur and elegance. I knew instantly from my first sighting that I had chosen wisely to spend the next fortnight from the 25 October to 8 November 2010 here.
The Iberotel IL Mercato had only been opened since October 2010. Although a contemporary building, the features, decor and design were clearly inspired by classical Roman and Venetian architecture. You could not but be impressed as guests as you made your way for the first time into the lobby, an area that reminded one of the Renaissance periods in Florence.
The check-in at reception was efficient, courteous and quick. I was in my superior room with a balcony looking out towards the front of the hotel in less than 10 minutes from the time I entered the property.
The room was spacious and stylishly furnished. The queen size bed and pillows were comfortable. There was enough satellite television programmes in English on the large flat screen TV to keep you amused if you wanted just to chill-out in your room. The air-conditioning worked without any hiccups, which was a godsend especially in the Egyptian afternoon heat.
There was a mini-bar (in a form of a fridge) but unlike the In-room safe, this was not free and quite expensive. I did mention to hotel management that I felt that the mini-bar should be part of the all-inclusive package but to no avail.
The shower/tub bathroom was well appointed with quality toiletries provided by the hotel. During my stay there was the issue of the water in the bathroom being slightly discoloured. The brownish-yellow water that gushed from the taps I was told was due to hotel plumbing not being flushed out properly. I was reassured that the situation was being rectified. The water discolouration was still an issue when I departed.
There were two restaurant/food options in the hotel. You had the Giardino, on the lower ground floor, which serves buffet style breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Terrazzina bar located on the hotel’s roof top served up late breakfast, a range of snacks and afternoon tea. The food in general was exemplary. There was much variety, catering for wide range of culinary palettes. I never got bored with the menu once. The only criticism, which came from many guests, was occasionally the cuisine was luke-warm to cold and needed to be re-heated. I understand the management was looking into this problem. Mr Aldo the hotel manager told me that at least one if not two a la carte restaurants are in the process of being built along the promenade accompanied by a sports bar all for the benefit of guests.
Similarly, there is no health spa at present but its being constructed, to be finished by the end of March. There was laughably what they described as a fitness centre, but in reality there was not enough room to swing the proverbial cat unless the feline had a helmet, body armour and a good constitution. However, again I had been reliably informed that the fitness room would be expanded and renovated by March or April of this year.
The three swimming pools (a fourth was also being assembled), two on the rooftop and one on the lower ground floor were luxurious and gave guests a marvellous choice. The pool on the lower ground floor was near Olympic size. All three are heated in the winter.
For young people there was very little entertainment and I would not recommend this property for families with kids. Essentially, the focus of the hotel is directed towards adults and attracting business people for conferences and seminars. Similarly, if you are searching for a conventional beach resort hotel I would not chose this one. There is an overabundance of other properties within Sharm El Sheikh that would provide for your needs far better. In essence this is a city hotel wanting to attract Company Executives who are on business within the region. However, saying that if you adore luxury, splendour, finery and you don’t mind not having a beach on your doorstop (like myself) you will not go far wrong with this hotel.
The IL Mercato do run a free shuttle bus service to a beach, but it’s not particularly private, it’s overcrowded and not to a standard of what you expect from 5 star hotel property. I understand that a new beach area is being sought just for the use of IL Mercato guests. That would be a positive step in the right direction.
The evening entertainment on the initial nights of my arrival was at best poor and at times embarrassing. It was a bloke – who seemed to be totally disinterested – singing very poor karaoke. You needed to consume several gin and tonics just to endure the noise. Thankfully, it did improve over time with far better singers and theme nights (i.e. Arabian dancers – very entertaining).
I would like to give a massive thanks to the hotel’s animation team under the sublime leadership of Jack. The team did their utmost to get guests involved in various activities throughout the day and equally significantly not hassle anyone who did not want to participate.
Along with the animation team the rest of the employees were excellent from the cleaners, security personnel, bar staff to the head of the hotel Mr Aldo. I could not fault any of them. I was treated like royalty and in many ways you expect that from a hotel of this standing. Speaking to other guest the view of their treatment did not differ from what I experienced.
Outside the property the IL Mercato Promenade like the hotel itself is not yet completed, but again like the hotel it has vast bags of potential and will offer an excellent and varied selection of cafes and restaurants when all constructed. I spent many an evening sitting in one of several street cafes watching sport on large screen TVs whilst smoking a Shisha (water pipe). Apart from the entertainment at the hotel and along the promenade, if you prefer going further afield, Naam Bay is no more than 10 minutes taxi drive away where you could dance from dusk till dawn at the many night clubs. My favourite amongst them was the Hard Rock Café closely followed by Pacha. It’s worth a visit if that’s your scene.
In conclusion, the harsh truth is that this is not at present a top-notch 5 star property. Much construction still needs to be undertaken to get to this goal. But undeniably, under the shrewd and excellent stewardship of the hotel manager Mr Aldo, I have no doubt that this will be only a matter of time and when it does I believe it will rank alongside the very top hotels in Sharm El Sheik.
The hotel management has informed me that March/April will complete most if not all the works planned. I like this hotel so much that I intend to go back and review this property around this period to see if my prediction of it rivalling with the Four Seasons and the Royal Savoy hotels is realised.
I would highly recommend booking this hotel now to anyone who prefers lavishness, sumptuousness and opulence at a bargain rate. Be in no doubt that as soon as this magnificent hotel is fully functional and the teething problems solved, the prices are going to skyrocket to the stars and beyond.
Showing posts with label Holiday - Travel Writer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holiday - Travel Writer. Show all posts
Monday, 3 January 2011
Saturday, 1 January 2011
The Egypt Diaries - Monday 8th November 2010
Last day - decided not to do any exercise. Said goodbye to the animation team. Unfortunately, today was for most their day-off. I had a temporary tattoo done by the swimming pool and poised for pictures with 2 of the female animation team. I then took pictures of the hotel inside and out.
I bid farewell to Mr Aldo and for the last time said how much I enjoyed my stay at the Il Mercato.
Had a robust conversation with Natalya about various aspects of the property. We eventually came to the conclusion to agree to disagree about areas of the hotel which could be improved upon but which she clearly did not think needed to be. Of the many subjects discussed the two which drew most heat was first bringing food into the hotel and second 24 hour all inclusivity (I felt that the mini-bar in the room should be free). I said that my review would be constructive and very positive about Il Mercato. She and I left on good terms.
Dreading the flight back and what awaits me. I know that I have been broken into by my toerag of a neighbour that I have mentioned in my previous diaries. I need to brace myself and expect the worse.
The Thomson plane home was not particularly comfortable. It was akin to me riding my obstinate camel in the dessert. I sometimes feel that Thomson should get rid of the seats and install hand rails and be done with it.
I had no need to worry my flat was in the same condition as I left it 2 weeks ago. All that stress was for nothing and it did put a cloud over my holiday. My most sincere apologies to my neighbour he's not a bad guy after all - he helped me up the 3 flight of stairs with my heavy suitcase on my return - Top Bloke!
I bid farewell to Mr Aldo and for the last time said how much I enjoyed my stay at the Il Mercato.
Had a robust conversation with Natalya about various aspects of the property. We eventually came to the conclusion to agree to disagree about areas of the hotel which could be improved upon but which she clearly did not think needed to be. Of the many subjects discussed the two which drew most heat was first bringing food into the hotel and second 24 hour all inclusivity (I felt that the mini-bar in the room should be free). I said that my review would be constructive and very positive about Il Mercato. She and I left on good terms.
Dreading the flight back and what awaits me. I know that I have been broken into by my toerag of a neighbour that I have mentioned in my previous diaries. I need to brace myself and expect the worse.
The Thomson plane home was not particularly comfortable. It was akin to me riding my obstinate camel in the dessert. I sometimes feel that Thomson should get rid of the seats and install hand rails and be done with it.
I had no need to worry my flat was in the same condition as I left it 2 weeks ago. All that stress was for nothing and it did put a cloud over my holiday. My most sincere apologies to my neighbour he's not a bad guy after all - he helped me up the 3 flight of stairs with my heavy suitcase on my return - Top Bloke!
Thursday, 30 December 2010
The Egypt Diaries - Saturday 6th November 2010
Cairo was smelly, dirty and in fact aesthetically an ugly city, but I loved it. Driving into the city you could taste the smog and car fumes at the back of your throat.
After 7 hours of the most uncomfortable coach journey imaginable with my fellow Russian passengers of the most uncouth kind, I was extremely thankful that we had finally reached our first destination - the world famous Egyptian Museum. Our guide a burly Egyptian rattled through a brief history of the ancient Egyptians before we entered the museum. We had only 35 minutes but I could of easily spent 35 hours - very frustrating.
Strangely (or maybe not so), out of all the amazing activates on display (including the iconic face mask) the one thing that stood out for me was King Tutankhamen's actual underwear which was three thousand years old. They were bright white with only a few patches of brown stains. I kept thinking that my underwear are in a worst condition in 3 days let alone 3 millennium.
The time spent in Cairo to see the treasures was brief but all said and done it was definitely worth the visit. In contrast, the coach trip there and back could not of have been more unpleasant if you tried.
The person who picked me up at the hotel was rude and aggressive. As I was bundled onto the coach it was packed full of Russians. Before we even set off to Cairo there was a fierce altercation between a passenger who rotated back her seat so much that the passenger behind was clearly uncomfortable. Although asked politely on several occasions the fat Ruskie refused to bring her seat forward. One passenger was so irate he stormed off the coach demanding his money back.
I texted my tour rep and complained about the member of staff. He asked me if I wanted to continue with the journey. Grudgingly, I said yes. This was once in a life time opportunity to visit Cairo whatever the hardship I was enduring.
During the drive there was another flare up between the same group of passengers which almost came to blows - an ugly incident which further marred the journey. On the return home we should of been back an hour earlier but were inexcusably delayed at the perfume shop.
Apart from Cairo another agreeable event was meeting Tom a Finance lawyer from Finsbury, but soon relocating he said to Beijing, China in the New Year. Convivial chap, we stuck together for the whole trip. We swapped emails and mobile information before the end.
I was determined whatever time we got back that I was going to the Hard Rock Cafe for a boogie and drink. I was dropped off at 1.00am - left hotel at 1.20 and at HRC by 1.45. To my surprise I ran into the animation team who were there celebrating Jac's birthday proper. I had some birthday cake, was offered vodka and in return purchased Jac a beer.
The animation girls and I strutted our stuff to some great RnB rhythms on the dance floor. I did not leave HRC until 4.00am. It had been a long 30 hours or so with not too much quality sleep, but experiences I will cherish for a very long time indeed.
After 7 hours of the most uncomfortable coach journey imaginable with my fellow Russian passengers of the most uncouth kind, I was extremely thankful that we had finally reached our first destination - the world famous Egyptian Museum. Our guide a burly Egyptian rattled through a brief history of the ancient Egyptians before we entered the museum. We had only 35 minutes but I could of easily spent 35 hours - very frustrating.
Strangely (or maybe not so), out of all the amazing activates on display (including the iconic face mask) the one thing that stood out for me was King Tutankhamen's actual underwear which was three thousand years old. They were bright white with only a few patches of brown stains. I kept thinking that my underwear are in a worst condition in 3 days let alone 3 millennium.
From the museum we travelled by boat on the Nile before having lunch. In the afternoon it was to the Pyramids in Giza - jaw-dropingly amazing; one of the 7th wonders of world; truly awesome. The time spent at the Pyramids was laughably short. I made sure I took enough pictures of the famous sphinx with me in it.
Before heading away from Cairo we were forced into a perfume shop. Inevitably we spent more time in this shopping arcade than we did at the historical sites. I swear some of the Russians were more fascinated by the myriad of perfumes on sale than the bloody Pyramids - very odd.The time spent in Cairo to see the treasures was brief but all said and done it was definitely worth the visit. In contrast, the coach trip there and back could not of have been more unpleasant if you tried.
The person who picked me up at the hotel was rude and aggressive. As I was bundled onto the coach it was packed full of Russians. Before we even set off to Cairo there was a fierce altercation between a passenger who rotated back her seat so much that the passenger behind was clearly uncomfortable. Although asked politely on several occasions the fat Ruskie refused to bring her seat forward. One passenger was so irate he stormed off the coach demanding his money back.
I texted my tour rep and complained about the member of staff. He asked me if I wanted to continue with the journey. Grudgingly, I said yes. This was once in a life time opportunity to visit Cairo whatever the hardship I was enduring.
During the drive there was another flare up between the same group of passengers which almost came to blows - an ugly incident which further marred the journey. On the return home we should of been back an hour earlier but were inexcusably delayed at the perfume shop.
Apart from Cairo another agreeable event was meeting Tom a Finance lawyer from Finsbury, but soon relocating he said to Beijing, China in the New Year. Convivial chap, we stuck together for the whole trip. We swapped emails and mobile information before the end.
I was determined whatever time we got back that I was going to the Hard Rock Cafe for a boogie and drink. I was dropped off at 1.00am - left hotel at 1.20 and at HRC by 1.45. To my surprise I ran into the animation team who were there celebrating Jac's birthday proper. I had some birthday cake, was offered vodka and in return purchased Jac a beer.
The animation girls and I strutted our stuff to some great RnB rhythms on the dance floor. I did not leave HRC until 4.00am. It had been a long 30 hours or so with not too much quality sleep, but experiences I will cherish for a very long time indeed.
The Egypt Diaries - Friday 5th November 2010
I had about 3 hours sleep before miraculously getting up at 8am for a jog in the unyielding heat. To my shame whilst running I was caught short and needed to relieve my myself Paula Radcliffe style. I don't think my stomach can stomach the rich, vast and gargantuan amounts of food and alcohol I consume on a daily basis - I tend to live the style of a fat emperor whilst on holiday.
Going back to my predicament I found a place behind a brick wall where I was able to release last night's contents without too much embarrassment either to myself or anybody else watching this awful spectacle.
I spent the rest of the daylight hours in my air conditioned room relaxing, shielding myself away from the oppressive heat. A few glasses of whiskey and lemonade helped smooth the transition.
The evening I watched Dianne perform. She was nervous because Mr Aldo was milling around the hotel. The flutist wanted to be at her best particularly as her contract was being reviewed. There was no need to worry. As she was performing Mr Aldo came over and greeted me and said how good she was and I enthusiastically agreed, all in earshot of her. Dianne was in tears afterwards thanking me profusely. I insisted that I had little input and it was not my decision whether her stay at the hotel would be extended. Although I protested, I reluctantly took her thanks and gratitude.
I had delightful conversation with one of the Russian animators. Gosh only 20 but she has packed so much in her life. As usual I was envious of her beauty, age and experience. As the night drew on she explained the concepts behind her many tattoos that adorned her body. She insisted that they were all historical records of significant events that occurred in her life. I kept thinking to myself that she's only bloody 20 - I need to get out more.
I watched some TV before preparing myself for my pick-up at 2am. I was excited by Cairo but dreading the 14 hour round journey to the Egyptian capital. Things you do for a bit of culture.
Going back to my predicament I found a place behind a brick wall where I was able to release last night's contents without too much embarrassment either to myself or anybody else watching this awful spectacle.
I spent the rest of the daylight hours in my air conditioned room relaxing, shielding myself away from the oppressive heat. A few glasses of whiskey and lemonade helped smooth the transition.
The evening I watched Dianne perform. She was nervous because Mr Aldo was milling around the hotel. The flutist wanted to be at her best particularly as her contract was being reviewed. There was no need to worry. As she was performing Mr Aldo came over and greeted me and said how good she was and I enthusiastically agreed, all in earshot of her. Dianne was in tears afterwards thanking me profusely. I insisted that I had little input and it was not my decision whether her stay at the hotel would be extended. Although I protested, I reluctantly took her thanks and gratitude.
I had delightful conversation with one of the Russian animators. Gosh only 20 but she has packed so much in her life. As usual I was envious of her beauty, age and experience. As the night drew on she explained the concepts behind her many tattoos that adorned her body. She insisted that they were all historical records of significant events that occurred in her life. I kept thinking to myself that she's only bloody 20 - I need to get out more.
I watched some TV before preparing myself for my pick-up at 2am. I was excited by Cairo but dreading the 14 hour round journey to the Egyptian capital. Things you do for a bit of culture.
Sunday, 14 November 2010
The Egypt Diaries - Thurdsday 4th November 2010
The Trip to St Katherine's Monastery was a long one - nearly 3 hours. I calculated that we were there for roughly 50 or so minutes. However, seeing where Moses witness the 'Burning Bush' and walking through the small church and sensing the historical significance of it all, it was well worth the 6 hour round trip.
Regrettably, I missed Ravi and Davey as they were flying out today. Great couple I hope they have a chuckle if they ever read my blog.
Mr Aldo and I had a conversation at the rooftop bar after dinner. He gave me a very clear indication how he viewed the hotel. The Italian emphasise that Il Mercato is principally a city and adult hotel and not a family orientated resort. He envisaged that ideally the hotel would attract business people, couples and conferences, particularly when the spa/sauna, restaurants and theme pub are built along the promenade.
In my opinion this will be a quality 5 star property when everything is in place. Mr Aldo and I agreed at present its not and the prices to stay here reflect that. However, the potential is vast. I witness improvements in and around the hotel on a daily basis. The management are genuinely taking on board the constructive comments that customers are making. I do confess that Mr Aldo is one of the better hotel managers that I have come across.
I promised the animation team that I would meet them at the Hard Rock Cafe tonight. Unfortunately, it was couples night and I was refused entry. Decided to go to Pacha - 25 pounds sterling to enter - expensive I thought. Inside the venue the decor and layout was impressive. It had 3 levels with the main dance floor on the first. When I arrived it was packed. The DJ was putting down some half-decent mixes which had the crowd jumping. Overall had a good time but seriously think at my age that going clubbing amongst people young enough to wonder about me - "Why has someone dragged along their dad".
With the exception of a few notable old codgers I would say I was the oldest at the club - not good. Not a single woman gave me a second look and if they did it was a mixture of pity and contempt. So high one night so low another. Left Pacha at 4am feeling depressed. I love to dance but I can't really go clubbing in middle age. My good friend Sheelah the nurse loves clubbing and is the same age as me but never fails to have young men flock around her wherever she goes. It does help that she looks half her age, that's the beauty of having black skin - black don't crack!
Regrettably, I missed Ravi and Davey as they were flying out today. Great couple I hope they have a chuckle if they ever read my blog.
Mr Aldo and I had a conversation at the rooftop bar after dinner. He gave me a very clear indication how he viewed the hotel. The Italian emphasise that Il Mercato is principally a city and adult hotel and not a family orientated resort. He envisaged that ideally the hotel would attract business people, couples and conferences, particularly when the spa/sauna, restaurants and theme pub are built along the promenade.
In my opinion this will be a quality 5 star property when everything is in place. Mr Aldo and I agreed at present its not and the prices to stay here reflect that. However, the potential is vast. I witness improvements in and around the hotel on a daily basis. The management are genuinely taking on board the constructive comments that customers are making. I do confess that Mr Aldo is one of the better hotel managers that I have come across.
I promised the animation team that I would meet them at the Hard Rock Cafe tonight. Unfortunately, it was couples night and I was refused entry. Decided to go to Pacha - 25 pounds sterling to enter - expensive I thought. Inside the venue the decor and layout was impressive. It had 3 levels with the main dance floor on the first. When I arrived it was packed. The DJ was putting down some half-decent mixes which had the crowd jumping. Overall had a good time but seriously think at my age that going clubbing amongst people young enough to wonder about me - "Why has someone dragged along their dad".
With the exception of a few notable old codgers I would say I was the oldest at the club - not good. Not a single woman gave me a second look and if they did it was a mixture of pity and contempt. So high one night so low another. Left Pacha at 4am feeling depressed. I love to dance but I can't really go clubbing in middle age. My good friend Sheelah the nurse loves clubbing and is the same age as me but never fails to have young men flock around her wherever she goes. It does help that she looks half her age, that's the beauty of having black skin - black don't crack!
Friday, 12 November 2010
The Egypt Diaries - Wednesday 3rd November 2010
OMG - I feel bloody awful. Did not get to sleep until 5am. Could not face breakfast probably would of thrown it up.
Late morning in the lobby I had a very interesting conversation with one of the managers. By coincidence her name was Natalie from Russia and close friends with Natalya from the Ukraine. Russian Nat explained where she thought this hotel was going in the future and the type of clientele it would likely to attract. I concurred with her opinion that Iberotel Il Mercato was essentially a city hotel catering for business people rather than your traditional British beach tourists. My own misgivings is that it may fall between the two - nor one thing or the other.
As I may have expected the pick-up for the quad-biking was late. It took the intervention of Mr Aldo to secure my lift. Have to say it was worth the wait. Quad-biking in the Sinai desert was a wonderful experience. Would recommend it to anyone. I have done this type of excursion in every country I visited but it was the first time I did this in the desert and at night. Awesome!
I tried a new bar whilst watching the the Milan and Real Madrid match. I could not believe I was charged almost £4 for a bottle of Stella. I left the premises in a not too happy mood. Egyptians think if you are from Britain you are a cash cow. Its constantly a hard sell here - nothing for free. I am sticking with drinks in the hotel. The beverages maybe locally branded but at least its free.
It was Jack's the head of animation's birthday. His crew plus some guests surprised him outside a shop in the arcade. He got a printer which was well received. To celebrate the team and some guests went to a local club. I declined and instead was serenaded by Diana the now resident flutist at the hotel. She played Moon River and Fly Me to the Moon. I felt honoured, privileged and I confess a little bit special. Not a musical expertise myself but Diana did hit a few 'bum notes' but overall her musical skills were very good. I slept contented ready for the excursion tomorrow to St. Katherine's Monastery.
Late morning in the lobby I had a very interesting conversation with one of the managers. By coincidence her name was Natalie from Russia and close friends with Natalya from the Ukraine. Russian Nat explained where she thought this hotel was going in the future and the type of clientele it would likely to attract. I concurred with her opinion that Iberotel Il Mercato was essentially a city hotel catering for business people rather than your traditional British beach tourists. My own misgivings is that it may fall between the two - nor one thing or the other.
As I may have expected the pick-up for the quad-biking was late. It took the intervention of Mr Aldo to secure my lift. Have to say it was worth the wait. Quad-biking in the Sinai desert was a wonderful experience. Would recommend it to anyone. I have done this type of excursion in every country I visited but it was the first time I did this in the desert and at night. Awesome!
I tried a new bar whilst watching the the Milan and Real Madrid match. I could not believe I was charged almost £4 for a bottle of Stella. I left the premises in a not too happy mood. Egyptians think if you are from Britain you are a cash cow. Its constantly a hard sell here - nothing for free. I am sticking with drinks in the hotel. The beverages maybe locally branded but at least its free.
It was Jack's the head of animation's birthday. His crew plus some guests surprised him outside a shop in the arcade. He got a printer which was well received. To celebrate the team and some guests went to a local club. I declined and instead was serenaded by Diana the now resident flutist at the hotel. She played Moon River and Fly Me to the Moon. I felt honoured, privileged and I confess a little bit special. Not a musical expertise myself but Diana did hit a few 'bum notes' but overall her musical skills were very good. I slept contented ready for the excursion tomorrow to St. Katherine's Monastery.
Sunday, 7 November 2010
The Egypt Diaries - Tuesday 2nd November 2010
Up at the crack of dawn. Met at the hotel gates by the tour guide. Amongst the group were a Romanian couple, a Russian and 2 cracking girls from Finland Olga and Mary. Throughout the excursion the Fins and I bonded really well.
They told me they had their own sign language business. Something that I had not realise, there is no universal sign language, each nation has their own unique language.
We made our way to the desert, a bumpy but thrilling ride, listening to rap music blaring out from the car stereo. We stopped at a Bedouin campsite for mint tea before heading off to Hada Sea Resort for snorkeling. As previously I enjoyed the snorkeling but as it was the second time around it was not as thrilling. Lunch provided was good but could have been hotter and I was slightly put off by the number of cats milling around my feet crying out for scraps of food from your plate. The camel ride which was part of the excursion was an experience. It was uncomfortable particularly for my groin and back. I am sure the ride must of decrease my fertility count.
We finished off the day with a visit to the mandatory tourist shopping mall. I purchased some mint tea within the 2 hours that we waisted there. I Made my feelings known on the feedback questionnaire.
Slept in my room for a few hours before heading for dinner. It was Champions League night with Spurs Vs Inter Milan at the Lane. The bars on the promenade were only showing the Barcelona game. I was content to view that.
I was able to blag my way in for free at the Hard Rock Cafe (HRC) and was one of the last clubbers to leave at near 4am.
I may have enjoyed the Jeep Safari, Snorkeling at Egypt's Red Sea and anticipating the quad-biking and the trip to Cairo, but its going to be hard to top the delightful experience at the HRC. Whilst strutting my stuff on the very crowded dance floor I was pinched on the bottom. I looked over my shoulder and there were a half dozen girls from Lancashire in their early twenties laughing out loud. The culprit amongst them winked at me and I smiled broadly back. Being goosed spurned me on to go 'old school' dance style and do the Robot. The girls plus the crowd around went wild and followed suit. Someone shouted from the throng "Obama is doing the Robot". Everybody guffawed. Its going to take something exceptional to beat this evening. I went home on a cloud.
I switched on the flat screen to the BBC World News. The real Obama was getting annihilated in the mid-term elections. If only he could do the Robot - that I have no doubt would of change his political fortunes - YES WE CAN!!
They told me they had their own sign language business. Something that I had not realise, there is no universal sign language, each nation has their own unique language.
We made our way to the desert, a bumpy but thrilling ride, listening to rap music blaring out from the car stereo. We stopped at a Bedouin campsite for mint tea before heading off to Hada Sea Resort for snorkeling. As previously I enjoyed the snorkeling but as it was the second time around it was not as thrilling. Lunch provided was good but could have been hotter and I was slightly put off by the number of cats milling around my feet crying out for scraps of food from your plate. The camel ride which was part of the excursion was an experience. It was uncomfortable particularly for my groin and back. I am sure the ride must of decrease my fertility count.
We finished off the day with a visit to the mandatory tourist shopping mall. I purchased some mint tea within the 2 hours that we waisted there. I Made my feelings known on the feedback questionnaire.
Slept in my room for a few hours before heading for dinner. It was Champions League night with Spurs Vs Inter Milan at the Lane. The bars on the promenade were only showing the Barcelona game. I was content to view that.
I was able to blag my way in for free at the Hard Rock Cafe (HRC) and was one of the last clubbers to leave at near 4am.
I may have enjoyed the Jeep Safari, Snorkeling at Egypt's Red Sea and anticipating the quad-biking and the trip to Cairo, but its going to be hard to top the delightful experience at the HRC. Whilst strutting my stuff on the very crowded dance floor I was pinched on the bottom. I looked over my shoulder and there were a half dozen girls from Lancashire in their early twenties laughing out loud. The culprit amongst them winked at me and I smiled broadly back. Being goosed spurned me on to go 'old school' dance style and do the Robot. The girls plus the crowd around went wild and followed suit. Someone shouted from the throng "Obama is doing the Robot". Everybody guffawed. Its going to take something exceptional to beat this evening. I went home on a cloud.
I switched on the flat screen to the BBC World News. The real Obama was getting annihilated in the mid-term elections. If only he could do the Robot - that I have no doubt would of change his political fortunes - YES WE CAN!!
The Egypt Diaries Monday 1st November 2010
Did not run - far too knackered from last night. Trying to balance staying up very late and running early mornings its not working.
It seems everyday there is an incremental but noticeable improvement on how the hotel works or its aesthetic design. For instance florists were putting massive glass vases in appropriate spots on all 3 floors of the property each containing a variety of humongous fresh flowers.
I was gearing myself up for the quad-biking but unfortunately was canceled due to over-subscription. As I missed my morning exercise I thought I would take the opportunity to have a run.
I bumped into Ravi in the evening. She apologised for last night but I assured her that there was no need. She told me that Davey had gone down with a stomach bug. Ravi bid me farewell before heading off to do her Florence Nightingale turn for her other half. Knowing I had an early start for the Jeep Safari, I had my final double G and T before heading to bed.
It seems everyday there is an incremental but noticeable improvement on how the hotel works or its aesthetic design. For instance florists were putting massive glass vases in appropriate spots on all 3 floors of the property each containing a variety of humongous fresh flowers.
I was gearing myself up for the quad-biking but unfortunately was canceled due to over-subscription. As I missed my morning exercise I thought I would take the opportunity to have a run.
I bumped into Ravi in the evening. She apologised for last night but I assured her that there was no need. She told me that Davey had gone down with a stomach bug. Ravi bid me farewell before heading off to do her Florence Nightingale turn for her other half. Knowing I had an early start for the Jeep Safari, I had my final double G and T before heading to bed.
The Egypt Diaries Sunday 31st October 2010
Unusually, I stayed in bed until after 9am. I could not face stomping the streets of Sharm in the blazing heat. I promised myself that I would exert my body this evening. It has been a week and I don't think I have put on any extra pounds. However, I am determined to lose my man boobs on my return. I am conscious about them especially whilst swimming. Using boxing parlance I need to become a Welterweight (10 stone 7 pounds) - both Sugar Rays competed and made history at this weight. These legendary boxers are going to inspire me to excel in every way.
Natalya kindly booked a quad-biking excursion for me, complimentary of the hotel. Should really refuse but dammit - its a perk of the job.
Spoke to a great character Wanda at the bar in the evening. She is a British retiree approaching 60 whose has been living in Egypt for over a decade. Wanda was as drunk as a Lord when I spoke to her. She regaled me about her life and loves. When I left her she was on her umpteen double gin and vodka with a splash of lemon and ice.
I met up with Ravi and Davey inside the Hard Rock Cafe. We all had a few drinks and dance to the hypnotic beats provided by a supposedly famous Russian DJ. Thankfully, he would play some RnB track which all 3 of us could really jig to. Ravi has got some moves on her, even though Davey was close at hand, the men came round her like bees to honey. Her fiance has got a lot to be jealous about.
The evening took a slightly sour note. The couple had a misunderstanding which resulted in embarrassing silence in the taxi ride home. I left them at the doors of the hotel - me going inside and them wandering off to some dark corner of the promenade to consume their Chicken pizza which Ravi had purchased earlier.
I had no concerns they seem to be great couple and very together - a mere lovers tiff. I look forward in getting some wedding cake in the not too distant future.
My last thoughts of the night as I stared at the ceiling in bed is that I bet Ravi and Davey were having some awesome 'make-up sex' - Davey who lucky bastard!!
Natalya kindly booked a quad-biking excursion for me, complimentary of the hotel. Should really refuse but dammit - its a perk of the job.
Spoke to a great character Wanda at the bar in the evening. She is a British retiree approaching 60 whose has been living in Egypt for over a decade. Wanda was as drunk as a Lord when I spoke to her. She regaled me about her life and loves. When I left her she was on her umpteen double gin and vodka with a splash of lemon and ice.
I met up with Ravi and Davey inside the Hard Rock Cafe. We all had a few drinks and dance to the hypnotic beats provided by a supposedly famous Russian DJ. Thankfully, he would play some RnB track which all 3 of us could really jig to. Ravi has got some moves on her, even though Davey was close at hand, the men came round her like bees to honey. Her fiance has got a lot to be jealous about.
The evening took a slightly sour note. The couple had a misunderstanding which resulted in embarrassing silence in the taxi ride home. I left them at the doors of the hotel - me going inside and them wandering off to some dark corner of the promenade to consume their Chicken pizza which Ravi had purchased earlier.
I had no concerns they seem to be great couple and very together - a mere lovers tiff. I look forward in getting some wedding cake in the not too distant future.
My last thoughts of the night as I stared at the ceiling in bed is that I bet Ravi and Davey were having some awesome 'make-up sex' - Davey who lucky bastard!!
Sunday, 31 October 2010
The Egypt Diaries - Saturday 30th October 2010
After last night's exploits with the Edinburgh couple, I spent an extra hour in bed before going for my morning jog.
After another luke-warm breakfast, I took the shuttle service to the beach. It was chaotic with few if any sunbeds available. This stretch of beach is used by several hotels including Il Mercato thus not exactly exclusive - something that a 5 star should have or least aim for. On the positive side it did have a bar aptly name the Beach Bar. It was more like a hut serving local beverages in small cups with no bottled water. I stayed for an hour before getting the shuttle service back.
Interestingly, I witness a heated argument which the guest manager Natalya had with an irate couple about bringing beverages into the hotel. The Rastafarian and his English wife had not evidently read the small print about the hotel's ban on food and drink purchased outside. The couple were eventually allowed to bring in their dozen cans of lagers and variety of nibbles. The couple pointed out accusingly that the hotel was not totally all inclusive i.e. the minibar in the room is not free. I did have some sympathy with them on both counts. Many guests I have talked to have fallen foul on the hotel's prohibition. For me Il Mercato should ease up on this ban or make the minibar free.
Had an afternoon swim followed by a toasted tuna sandwich. The sandwich was cold and so were the fries that accompanied it. Left most of it. Had duck for dinner which was surprisingly tasty (and hot for once).
The animation team were encouraging people to jaunt off to the Hard Rock Cafe tonight. I said I would come along and strut my elderly joints to some retro dance beats. In the end my arthritic knee was playing up so I thought an early night would be the safest and healthier option.
After another luke-warm breakfast, I took the shuttle service to the beach. It was chaotic with few if any sunbeds available. This stretch of beach is used by several hotels including Il Mercato thus not exactly exclusive - something that a 5 star should have or least aim for. On the positive side it did have a bar aptly name the Beach Bar. It was more like a hut serving local beverages in small cups with no bottled water. I stayed for an hour before getting the shuttle service back.
Interestingly, I witness a heated argument which the guest manager Natalya had with an irate couple about bringing beverages into the hotel. The Rastafarian and his English wife had not evidently read the small print about the hotel's ban on food and drink purchased outside. The couple were eventually allowed to bring in their dozen cans of lagers and variety of nibbles. The couple pointed out accusingly that the hotel was not totally all inclusive i.e. the minibar in the room is not free. I did have some sympathy with them on both counts. Many guests I have talked to have fallen foul on the hotel's prohibition. For me Il Mercato should ease up on this ban or make the minibar free.
Had an afternoon swim followed by a toasted tuna sandwich. The sandwich was cold and so were the fries that accompanied it. Left most of it. Had duck for dinner which was surprisingly tasty (and hot for once).
The animation team were encouraging people to jaunt off to the Hard Rock Cafe tonight. I said I would come along and strut my elderly joints to some retro dance beats. In the end my arthritic knee was playing up so I thought an early night would be the safest and healthier option.
The Egypt Diaries - Friday 29 October 2010
The snorkeling was great. Admittedly I did not see as much variety of fish as I anticipated but nonetheless I still enjoyed the experience especially as it was free courtesy of the hotel. If I did not know better they are trying to influence my review - they're doing a good job.
I became friendly on the boat with a mother and daughter couple from Cumbria. Helen the mother was a Deputy Headmistress in a comprehensive in and around the Lake District. Faye her daughter worked in the private sector doing something unusual I forgot what. Like her mother, Faye was petite, blond, very attractive with Barbara Windsor size breasts to die for. I would of married her there and then if she asked me to. Her right foot was adorned with a flowery tattoo, which she later told me that she designed herself.
I must say a boat-load of bikini-clad lithe women (mostly Russian with their partners) made me incredibly hot and bothered. Could not wait to return to the hotel for a barclays.
The evening rooftop entertainment has been improving. The guitarist tonight belted out some decent covers in 3 different languages quite a feat.
Whilst enjoying the show met a fabulous couple Davey and Ravi. Davey is a Scot from Edinburgh. Rugged, handsome with great pecs. Could probably bench-press Dawn French without too much bother. His girlfriend Ravi was a beautiful vision of Indian origin. No wonder he fell for her I would. Spent the evening and early morning debating the positive and negative aspects of the hotel, rude Russian guests and the consummate service provided by the Egyptian staff at the property.
I retired from the bar to Davey and Ravi's room for a few vodka and cokes. They ask me to join them for Ravi's 26th birthday on Sunday. Two of her friends were coming over from England for the celebration. How could I refuse an offer like that.
It was 2am before I left their superior slightly worse for wear. For me it was too late to venture to Naam Bay. I had more than enough entertainment for the night.
I became friendly on the boat with a mother and daughter couple from Cumbria. Helen the mother was a Deputy Headmistress in a comprehensive in and around the Lake District. Faye her daughter worked in the private sector doing something unusual I forgot what. Like her mother, Faye was petite, blond, very attractive with Barbara Windsor size breasts to die for. I would of married her there and then if she asked me to. Her right foot was adorned with a flowery tattoo, which she later told me that she designed herself.
I must say a boat-load of bikini-clad lithe women (mostly Russian with their partners) made me incredibly hot and bothered. Could not wait to return to the hotel for a barclays.
The evening rooftop entertainment has been improving. The guitarist tonight belted out some decent covers in 3 different languages quite a feat.
Whilst enjoying the show met a fabulous couple Davey and Ravi. Davey is a Scot from Edinburgh. Rugged, handsome with great pecs. Could probably bench-press Dawn French without too much bother. His girlfriend Ravi was a beautiful vision of Indian origin. No wonder he fell for her I would. Spent the evening and early morning debating the positive and negative aspects of the hotel, rude Russian guests and the consummate service provided by the Egyptian staff at the property.
I retired from the bar to Davey and Ravi's room for a few vodka and cokes. They ask me to join them for Ravi's 26th birthday on Sunday. Two of her friends were coming over from England for the celebration. How could I refuse an offer like that.
It was 2am before I left their superior slightly worse for wear. For me it was too late to venture to Naam Bay. I had more than enough entertainment for the night.
Friday, 29 October 2010
The Egypt Diaries - 28 October 2010
Wake up - run/gym, swim and breakfast. Getting into a routine now which is idea for me.
I have now fully accepted that I have been robbed and all my worldly goods have been stripped from my home including my treasured Dell computer. I hope those people who have been involved in this theft burn in hellfire and damnation. That's enough negativity I am going to have a great time in Egypt - a curse on those bastard criminals.
In the evening did my customary circuit of the hotel. Took me 35 minutes. In the heat I would think it must be the equivalent of doing 6 miles around Battersea Park.
After dinner ascended to the rooftop for the evening entertainment. The head of animation Jac was doing a turn with fireballs and earlier on we had an Egyptian dance twirling a flashing blanket over his head. Not the greatest spectacle that I have witnessed but it was a country-mile better than the awful Karaoke singer we had the previous nights. His rendition of Bob Marley's No Woman No Cry was a vicious assault on the ears.
The evening continued in Naam Bay. Did not stay for long knowing I had an early start for the snorkeling expedition. We were to visit Ras Mohamed National Park - I understand the best place for this type of excursion outside Australian's Barrier Reef.
Thursday, 28 October 2010
The Egypt Diaries - 27 October 2010
Up at 7am. Spent 30 minutes running around the hotel. Although early in the morning it was still phenomenally hot. Must have lost 10 pounds in sweat. Most of that was regained at breakfast. I decided that I would eat only breakfast and dinner and skip lunch. Its was my sacriface for combating the ever increasing waistline.
My day was spent sleeping and watching TV. There are enough American channels to keep one's interest. As the day turned into night I made my way towards Naam Bay. I returned to Bus Stop. I met a very interesting man named Mitchell Johnson. He was ex SAS. Over a beer or two he told me his experiences in the Falklands War as the advance guard. He was parachuted into Goose Green 2 weeks before the main Task Force arrived. As a young paratrooper he was involved in the Bloody Sunday events. Completely facscinating. Now semi-retired he works for an organisation called MFO (he did tell me what it stood for but I have forgotton). I am sure I will meet up with him again before my vacation is over.
I was able to get into Hard Rock Cafe free of charge. It was 1am and I did not leave until well after 3am. The music was loud and pumping a good time was had.
My day was spent sleeping and watching TV. There are enough American channels to keep one's interest. As the day turned into night I made my way towards Naam Bay. I returned to Bus Stop. I met a very interesting man named Mitchell Johnson. He was ex SAS. Over a beer or two he told me his experiences in the Falklands War as the advance guard. He was parachuted into Goose Green 2 weeks before the main Task Force arrived. As a young paratrooper he was involved in the Bloody Sunday events. Completely facscinating. Now semi-retired he works for an organisation called MFO (he did tell me what it stood for but I have forgotton). I am sure I will meet up with him again before my vacation is over.
I was able to get into Hard Rock Cafe free of charge. It was 1am and I did not leave until well after 3am. The music was loud and pumping a good time was had.
The Egypt Diaries - 26 October 2010
I woke up in my kingsize bed, covering the Egyptian silk sheets in sweat. I suddenly realise that I may not have secured my front door fully. The threat of being burgled now weighs heavy on my mind and will do so for the rest of my trip.
There are people in my building who cut their mother's throat, let alone mine to have an opportunity to ransack someone's property. I texted my good friend Sheelah who does not live far from me if she could make the journey and check that I have not been broken into. Her text reply read that she was unwilling to do it. They say a friend in need is a friend indeed - bollocks!! The proverb should really read "A friend in need is a bloody pest".
If I have been burgled I have a very good idea who the culprit would be. A middle-aged layabout who does window cleaning on the side but claims unemployment and a vast array of other benefits which he can scrounge of the state illegally. He probably has more disposable income than I do. What compounds it all is that there are other people he lives with who are of the same criminal persuasion and who would have no qualms if the opportunity arises to steal things that clearly do not belong to them. Our estate has really gone down hill over the years.
The worst thing this workshy scumbag saw me leaving the building with my massive suitcase. This filth would put 2 and 2 together and see this as a golden opportunity. I am worried very worried. However, there is not much I can do whilst in Egypt. I have to brace myself in the knowledge that when I return on the 8 November 2010 my world is going to be turned upside down - what a bloody homecoming.
Bearing this all in mind my first full day in Egypt went well. It began at 7am with a jog on the running machine in the hotel's health club. However, the so called health club is name only as it consists of the said machine, a cycle and one multi-exercise machine all contained in a room not big enough to swing the proverbial cat without the feline being adorned with body armour and a helmet.
I then went for a dip in one of two rooftop pools. There is a third pool and by far the largest(almost olympic size) located in the basement. Breakfast was fine. One small critique is that the food could be warmer.
Mr Aldo the General Manager of the Mercato introduce himself to me. I would describe him as charasmatic and personable. He was passionate about the hotel and its potential. Mr Aldo admitted that there were and still are teething problems but this was expected when the hotel opened its doors for a soft opening on the 7th October. He anticipated that the property would be fully operational by March 2011 with a fully built health spa and 3 Al La Carte Restaurants all up and running.
I left our first, and suspect many other gatherings together over the next 2 weeks, enthused about the Iberotel Il Mercato. I hope it lives up to the manager's expectations and my own.
I later strolled out to the promenade to locate an internet cafe. I did but it was closed. The rest of the afternoon I spent in my room sheltering from the oppressive heat. I watched Spiderman on the flatscreen. At 6pm it was time for exercise and on this occasion a run outside taking in great views of the red mountains at night.
Dinner was buffet-style. A good variety but as before the food could of been hotter. The desserts were sumptious. Its going to be difficult not to increase my waistband before my holiday is over.
The night was spent in Naam Bay, successfully finding an internet cafe and checking out the nightclubs of Pacha, Big Budda and the Hard Rock Cafe. The entrance fees for all were very expensive. I decided to venture into Bus Stop as it was free to enter. They had Karoke it was good fun.
I returned by taxi just before 1am. Going back to my thoughts this morning, there was nothing I could do about the situation so I decided to put on a brave face and enjoy my Egyptian experience and think about the other staff when my plane lands on the runway at Gatwick.
There are people in my building who cut their mother's throat, let alone mine to have an opportunity to ransack someone's property. I texted my good friend Sheelah who does not live far from me if she could make the journey and check that I have not been broken into. Her text reply read that she was unwilling to do it. They say a friend in need is a friend indeed - bollocks!! The proverb should really read "A friend in need is a bloody pest".
If I have been burgled I have a very good idea who the culprit would be. A middle-aged layabout who does window cleaning on the side but claims unemployment and a vast array of other benefits which he can scrounge of the state illegally. He probably has more disposable income than I do. What compounds it all is that there are other people he lives with who are of the same criminal persuasion and who would have no qualms if the opportunity arises to steal things that clearly do not belong to them. Our estate has really gone down hill over the years.
The worst thing this workshy scumbag saw me leaving the building with my massive suitcase. This filth would put 2 and 2 together and see this as a golden opportunity. I am worried very worried. However, there is not much I can do whilst in Egypt. I have to brace myself in the knowledge that when I return on the 8 November 2010 my world is going to be turned upside down - what a bloody homecoming.
Bearing this all in mind my first full day in Egypt went well. It began at 7am with a jog on the running machine in the hotel's health club. However, the so called health club is name only as it consists of the said machine, a cycle and one multi-exercise machine all contained in a room not big enough to swing the proverbial cat without the feline being adorned with body armour and a helmet.
I then went for a dip in one of two rooftop pools. There is a third pool and by far the largest(almost olympic size) located in the basement. Breakfast was fine. One small critique is that the food could be warmer.
Mr Aldo the General Manager of the Mercato introduce himself to me. I would describe him as charasmatic and personable. He was passionate about the hotel and its potential. Mr Aldo admitted that there were and still are teething problems but this was expected when the hotel opened its doors for a soft opening on the 7th October. He anticipated that the property would be fully operational by March 2011 with a fully built health spa and 3 Al La Carte Restaurants all up and running.
I left our first, and suspect many other gatherings together over the next 2 weeks, enthused about the Iberotel Il Mercato. I hope it lives up to the manager's expectations and my own.
I later strolled out to the promenade to locate an internet cafe. I did but it was closed. The rest of the afternoon I spent in my room sheltering from the oppressive heat. I watched Spiderman on the flatscreen. At 6pm it was time for exercise and on this occasion a run outside taking in great views of the red mountains at night.
Dinner was buffet-style. A good variety but as before the food could of been hotter. The desserts were sumptious. Its going to be difficult not to increase my waistband before my holiday is over.
The night was spent in Naam Bay, successfully finding an internet cafe and checking out the nightclubs of Pacha, Big Budda and the Hard Rock Cafe. The entrance fees for all were very expensive. I decided to venture into Bus Stop as it was free to enter. They had Karoke it was good fun.
I returned by taxi just before 1am. Going back to my thoughts this morning, there was nothing I could do about the situation so I decided to put on a brave face and enjoy my Egyptian experience and think about the other staff when my plane lands on the runway at Gatwick.
The Egypt Diaries - Monday 25th October 2010
I flew out from Gatwick with Thomson. Not an ardent fan of the airline. The seats are so close its practically knees into chest in the foetal position for the whole of the 5 hour flight. Crumbs its only bearable knowing what awaits me - a 2 week vacation staying what I hope is going to a good quality 5 star brand new hotel.
After the usual formalities at the Airport I was driven by shuttle bus to the Iberotel Il Mercato hotel. At first sight I was impressed. The pictures on the company's website were for once a true reflection of what I actually saw on a sultry Monday evening.
I was escorted to my room and I was similarly bowled over by my accommodation for the next fortnight. Although small, it had everything I needed; flatscreen TV, plenty of cupboard space and a vast array of toiletries in the bathroom which included a biday (who the hell uses this). The Kingsize bed was firm but comfortable. The view from the balcony looked out to the front gates which were manned by 2 burly security guards with police-style batons strapped to their sides.
After I settled in and unburden by suitcase of most of its contents I took a stroll towards the Mercato Promenade. By now it was close to midnight. The promenade had the usual branded shops but nothing distinguished it from any other shopping arcade that you would find in England.
As I walked back to the hotel my initial misgivings about booking this hotel were unwarranted. I was reasonably satisfied that although this was a leap in the dark I was happy that I seemed to have landed on firm ground
After the usual formalities at the Airport I was driven by shuttle bus to the Iberotel Il Mercato hotel. At first sight I was impressed. The pictures on the company's website were for once a true reflection of what I actually saw on a sultry Monday evening.
I was escorted to my room and I was similarly bowled over by my accommodation for the next fortnight. Although small, it had everything I needed; flatscreen TV, plenty of cupboard space and a vast array of toiletries in the bathroom which included a biday (who the hell uses this). The Kingsize bed was firm but comfortable. The view from the balcony looked out to the front gates which were manned by 2 burly security guards with police-style batons strapped to their sides.
After I settled in and unburden by suitcase of most of its contents I took a stroll towards the Mercato Promenade. By now it was close to midnight. The promenade had the usual branded shops but nothing distinguished it from any other shopping arcade that you would find in England.
As I walked back to the hotel my initial misgivings about booking this hotel were unwarranted. I was reasonably satisfied that although this was a leap in the dark I was happy that I seemed to have landed on firm ground
Friday, 15 October 2010
Review of Iberotel IL Mercato Hotel - Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt
I have been asked to review this newly opened property in Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt by a number of interested publications. I am flying out on Monday 25 October and staying at this 5 star luxury accommodation for two weeks.
The hotel was only launched on the 7 October 2010. I am guessing that being brand new there maybe some initial teething problems and possibly not all the facilities advertised by the owners Jaz/Iberotel on their website promoting this hotel, may yet be fully operational. However, the Jaz/Iberotel organisation are renowned within the travel industry for providing superb accommodation, so it would be interesting to find out if this hotel further enhances its reputation. We shall see and all will be revealed in my features.
There has been a lot of interest about this accommodation on TripAdvisor. Fortunately, I will be one of first ones to write a review about the hotel on this website.
As I have never been to Egypt, I will take the opportunity to highlight the best places to go at night and the various excursions on offer for the holidaymaker. I also understand that it is one of the best places in the world to go scuba diving.
I will be keeping a regular dairy of my exploits in the land of the Pharaohs.
The hotel was only launched on the 7 October 2010. I am guessing that being brand new there maybe some initial teething problems and possibly not all the facilities advertised by the owners Jaz/Iberotel on their website promoting this hotel, may yet be fully operational. However, the Jaz/Iberotel organisation are renowned within the travel industry for providing superb accommodation, so it would be interesting to find out if this hotel further enhances its reputation. We shall see and all will be revealed in my features.
There has been a lot of interest about this accommodation on TripAdvisor. Fortunately, I will be one of first ones to write a review about the hotel on this website.
As I have never been to Egypt, I will take the opportunity to highlight the best places to go at night and the various excursions on offer for the holidaymaker. I also understand that it is one of the best places in the world to go scuba diving.
I will be keeping a regular dairy of my exploits in the land of the Pharaohs.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Phuket Diary - Tuesday 6 July 2010
I now have a routine; up at 10am, dress, have a gargantuan breakfast covering the culinary delights across the globe, return to room, have a tsunami of a dump; shower and off to the newly discovered jetty.
Another unique thing about the Amari Resort is that it has this amazing jetty. I suppose an equivalent in England would be Brighton or Blackpool Pier (but obviously smaller). I spend my days here rather than around the swimming pools. Its quieter with fewer people. Women who sunbathe at the jetty tend to be less inhibited and go topless. This would certainly be frowned upon at the two main swimming pools where children are gathered.
I maybe on holiday but I do watch a lot of television. I have particular fondness for the BBC World Service. It is a Home from Home for me. I like to know whats going on in my "Yard" whilst I am abroad. A small criticism of the resort is that for a modern complex they do not have flat screen televisions and the choice of English channels are limited. More sports channels would not go a miss as well.
Tonight is the Netherlands versus Uruguay semi final of the world cup. All the world cup knockout matches in Thailand start at 1.30am which is great, as I can party before the game and party even harder afterwards. It was a good game to watch with the Dutch deserved winners. To celebrate the Netherlands victory I returned to Hollywood nightclub, this time determined not to pick up any female companions especially if they had their own motorbikes.
I strutted my funky stuff (as only someone of my age could do) to the hard core R n B soundtracks. I think my innate natural rhythm prove to be a flame that attracted many moths. However, I simply said I was married with several children. It also helped that I mentioned that I had only 100 bahts in my pocket (less than 3 pounds sterling) which really did the trick.
I made my way home dismissing the numerous offers for a taxi or tuk tuk. The security guards at the hotel must think I am bit of a ladies man particularly after last night's events with "M". The guards smile when they see me and say 'girlfriend' repeatedly. I respond with a stern No. It could be worse the guards could shout out 'Ladyboy' instead.
Another unique thing about the Amari Resort is that it has this amazing jetty. I suppose an equivalent in England would be Brighton or Blackpool Pier (but obviously smaller). I spend my days here rather than around the swimming pools. Its quieter with fewer people. Women who sunbathe at the jetty tend to be less inhibited and go topless. This would certainly be frowned upon at the two main swimming pools where children are gathered.
I maybe on holiday but I do watch a lot of television. I have particular fondness for the BBC World Service. It is a Home from Home for me. I like to know whats going on in my "Yard" whilst I am abroad. A small criticism of the resort is that for a modern complex they do not have flat screen televisions and the choice of English channels are limited. More sports channels would not go a miss as well.
Tonight is the Netherlands versus Uruguay semi final of the world cup. All the world cup knockout matches in Thailand start at 1.30am which is great, as I can party before the game and party even harder afterwards. It was a good game to watch with the Dutch deserved winners. To celebrate the Netherlands victory I returned to Hollywood nightclub, this time determined not to pick up any female companions especially if they had their own motorbikes.
I strutted my funky stuff (as only someone of my age could do) to the hard core R n B soundtracks. I think my innate natural rhythm prove to be a flame that attracted many moths. However, I simply said I was married with several children. It also helped that I mentioned that I had only 100 bahts in my pocket (less than 3 pounds sterling) which really did the trick.
I made my way home dismissing the numerous offers for a taxi or tuk tuk. The security guards at the hotel must think I am bit of a ladies man particularly after last night's events with "M". The guards smile when they see me and say 'girlfriend' repeatedly. I respond with a stern No. It could be worse the guards could shout out 'Ladyboy' instead.
Saturday, 10 July 2010
The Phuket Diary - Monday 5th July 2010
One of the many plus points of Amari is that it has its own small private beach used only by the hotel guests. Fortunately, my room leads onto this small strip of sand. I do find it a privilege that I have more or less my own stretch of beach to play on. I feel like Michael Winner.
If you are in Thailand you are going to have some form of spa treatment. I looked at the spa treatments that Amari have to offer. No question they are very good but are phenomenally expensive compared to what you can find beyond the hotel, which just as good. Equally, the laundry service that the hotel offers starts at 1,500 baht (nearly 20 pounds) whereas the laundry services outside the complex commences at 50 baht. That is one hell of a difference. I was not in the least surprise that most guests at the hotel use the local laundry services. With a little extra they actually iron as well.
At midnight I made my way to Bangla Road and into a nightclub called Hollywood. Again like all western men I was accosted by several beautiful Thai women who wanted to show me a good time. As a man you are extremely flattered by the attention as I know that I am no Denzil Washington. It is hard for any man not to fall for the charms of a local, especially when she is sliding her nubile, lithe young body up and down her genitals. You'll need to drink a tonne of bromide to resist.
I was cavorting with a girl called 'M'. Her Thai name was too difficult to pronounce. She was 22, petite and beautiful. At the end of the night she took me back to my hotel on her motorbike - Christ I thought we were going to crash - her driving was so erratic.
As we pulled up to the hotel I decided that this wasn't for me. In truth I am actually very prudish. I would never do this if I was in England so why lower my morals just because I am in a foreign country, even if every other red-face Englishman is getting is rocks off.
'M' was disappointed that I had a change of heart. She even reduced her fee and promised some "back-door action" if I was into that. I held to my guns and wished her a good night. I returned to my room happy in the knowledge that I did not succumb to the beast inside me. I thought that if I can resist 'M' I can resist anything - I can move mountains. I slept soundly after cracking one off (all men have to satisfy thier needs somehow).
If you are in Thailand you are going to have some form of spa treatment. I looked at the spa treatments that Amari have to offer. No question they are very good but are phenomenally expensive compared to what you can find beyond the hotel, which just as good. Equally, the laundry service that the hotel offers starts at 1,500 baht (nearly 20 pounds) whereas the laundry services outside the complex commences at 50 baht. That is one hell of a difference. I was not in the least surprise that most guests at the hotel use the local laundry services. With a little extra they actually iron as well.
At midnight I made my way to Bangla Road and into a nightclub called Hollywood. Again like all western men I was accosted by several beautiful Thai women who wanted to show me a good time. As a man you are extremely flattered by the attention as I know that I am no Denzil Washington. It is hard for any man not to fall for the charms of a local, especially when she is sliding her nubile, lithe young body up and down her genitals. You'll need to drink a tonne of bromide to resist.
I was cavorting with a girl called 'M'. Her Thai name was too difficult to pronounce. She was 22, petite and beautiful. At the end of the night she took me back to my hotel on her motorbike - Christ I thought we were going to crash - her driving was so erratic.
As we pulled up to the hotel I decided that this wasn't for me. In truth I am actually very prudish. I would never do this if I was in England so why lower my morals just because I am in a foreign country, even if every other red-face Englishman is getting is rocks off.
'M' was disappointed that I had a change of heart. She even reduced her fee and promised some "back-door action" if I was into that. I held to my guns and wished her a good night. I returned to my room happy in the knowledge that I did not succumb to the beast inside me. I thought that if I can resist 'M' I can resist anything - I can move mountains. I slept soundly after cracking one off (all men have to satisfy thier needs somehow).
Phuket Diary - Sunday 4th July 2010
After yesterday's nocturnal escapades I woke up around 10am having only 4 hours sleep. I know darn well this will catch up with me.
Breakfast at the Amari was sumptuous. You had everything from the vast assortment of cereals to eggs and bacon to Thai and Indian cuisine. There was something for even the most fastidious palette.
After eating my body weight in bacon omelette's and Thai curry, I gave myself a tour around the hotel. The Amari is a big resort complex spread over several acres. For instance the the distance from my deluxe to the hotel reception and entrance is a good 5 minute walk up a number of stairs. In addition, the accommodation is up on a steep hill so if you have any mobility issues this might be a concern. The staff at the resort are polite and courteous which you expect from a hotel of this standard.
After relaxing around one of the two swimming pools for most of the day, I ventured out to one of the local bars - a 10 minute walk from the Amari. I met 2 lads from Edmonton, North London who had left their mundane jobs in England to travel across SE Asia for a year. I thought they were brave considering the economic climate.
Our conversation eventually lead to the topic of massage parlours. What is with this place that almost every second establishment on the street there is a group of young pretty Thai women (also not so young and not so pretty Thai women) pestering you for a massage of various sorts. The two Londoners informed me that you can have a perfectly respectable encounter with these ladies for a reasonable price.
The three of us were joined by a young Australian who went into graphic detail as to the extras you could have if you so desire. He stated that the normal etiquette is that half way through your massage you ask for "Bum Bum" and the masseur will itemised the things she is willing to do for an additional payment. The young antipodean boasted that he had hundreds of "Bum Bums" whilst in the country. Imagine my surprise when I learnt that he was only 15 years of age and even more shocking he was telling me this as bold as brass in front of his mum who was only a few feet away. 'Boys will be boys' she quipped. She told me that she was originally from Luton but moved to Australia in the early 1980s. She said in the most matter of fact way, whilst assuring me that she was not a racist that it was the blacks and pakis who were taking over the town which made her move half way way around the around the world. "I was losing my heritage and identity" she moaned. I could not help thinking that the Australian Aboriginal must feel the same way with all the foreigners coming into their country.
I took no offence to her remarks and I admired her honesty. We parted on good company at 3am. I brought her and her off-spring Thai whiskey and beer. Christ her son at only 15 (he looked more 21) could drink like a fish. They breed tough down under.
Breakfast at the Amari was sumptuous. You had everything from the vast assortment of cereals to eggs and bacon to Thai and Indian cuisine. There was something for even the most fastidious palette.
After eating my body weight in bacon omelette's and Thai curry, I gave myself a tour around the hotel. The Amari is a big resort complex spread over several acres. For instance the the distance from my deluxe to the hotel reception and entrance is a good 5 minute walk up a number of stairs. In addition, the accommodation is up on a steep hill so if you have any mobility issues this might be a concern. The staff at the resort are polite and courteous which you expect from a hotel of this standard.
After relaxing around one of the two swimming pools for most of the day, I ventured out to one of the local bars - a 10 minute walk from the Amari. I met 2 lads from Edmonton, North London who had left their mundane jobs in England to travel across SE Asia for a year. I thought they were brave considering the economic climate.
Our conversation eventually lead to the topic of massage parlours. What is with this place that almost every second establishment on the street there is a group of young pretty Thai women (also not so young and not so pretty Thai women) pestering you for a massage of various sorts. The two Londoners informed me that you can have a perfectly respectable encounter with these ladies for a reasonable price.
The three of us were joined by a young Australian who went into graphic detail as to the extras you could have if you so desire. He stated that the normal etiquette is that half way through your massage you ask for "Bum Bum" and the masseur will itemised the things she is willing to do for an additional payment. The young antipodean boasted that he had hundreds of "Bum Bums" whilst in the country. Imagine my surprise when I learnt that he was only 15 years of age and even more shocking he was telling me this as bold as brass in front of his mum who was only a few feet away. 'Boys will be boys' she quipped. She told me that she was originally from Luton but moved to Australia in the early 1980s. She said in the most matter of fact way, whilst assuring me that she was not a racist that it was the blacks and pakis who were taking over the town which made her move half way way around the around the world. "I was losing my heritage and identity" she moaned. I could not help thinking that the Australian Aboriginal must feel the same way with all the foreigners coming into their country.
I took no offence to her remarks and I admired her honesty. We parted on good company at 3am. I brought her and her off-spring Thai whiskey and beer. Christ her son at only 15 (he looked more 21) could drink like a fish. They breed tough down under.
Thursday, 8 July 2010
The Phuket Diary
Friday 2nd & Saturday 3rd July 2010
Its a long journey from Heathrow to Phuket. You travel to Bangkok which takes 11 hours and then you take an internal flight to Phuket which adds another hour or so to an exhausting trip. You need 2 weeks just to recover. I left Heathrow on Friday at 10pm British time and arrived eventually at Phuket Airport on Saturday 5.15pm Thai time.
My own private mini-bus was waiting for me which drove me an hour away to Amari Coral Beach Hotel, a 4 star resort located on the outskirts of Patong Beach. I was pleasantly surprised to have my room upgraded from a superior to a deluxe. My first impressions of my accommodation was that it was a well appointed room with all the luxurious that a 4 star hotel should be equipped with. I was further bowled over by the towel decoration of an elephant on the bed and the small buffet left for me on the coffee table. Full marks for the Amari for their customer service. The long flight with Eva Airways was now distant memory.
After quickly getting familiar with my surroundings and filling myself with the exotic spread laid on for me, I decided to take a bold step on my first night and venture down the infamous Patong Beach and in particular the notorious Bangla Road. It is good 20 minute walk from the hotel. This busy street late at night is something to behold.
I was propositioned at least a dozen times by so called lady boys (or I think they were). They were the most beautiful creatures - slim, refined with gorgeous breasts. You had to jolt your senses to remind yourself that these are Transsexuals both pre and post snip. Nonetheless they were wonderful to look at.
It seemed that there were all colours of the rainbow here on this small strip. Most were looking for some sort of action. As I guessed, there were a preponderance of middle-aged men who had seemed a long time ago to lose the will to exercise with their bulging waistlines. They were accompanied in most part by beautiful young Thai women who looked lovingly in their eyes and probably on their wallets. I suppose both get what they want - men get to have and hold attractive local girls and the women an escape from grinding poverty for security with an elderly European. In reality it's a fair compromise, a mutual contract which is never spoken about but everybody knows.
I ventured into a night club called Tiger. They are filled with 'working girls' aiming to be picked up by any man willing to pay for her drinks and to be taken back to the man's hotel for a price. If you are looking for a Mills and Boone romance in these pick-up joints forget it! What you have is a business transaction with a drop-dead gorgeous Thai girl for a night.
I myself was not tempted even though it is offered on silver plate with bells on. In truth you do not need to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt to get lucky. Men in their home countries who would have more chance of winning the Euro Jackpot than winning the hand of a beautiful fair maiden can with enough cash, in the Land of Smiles go out with an equivalent of an Angeline Joline.
You can see why single men (and more often married men) flock in their thousands to come here. Its a temptation hard to resist for most males. For me as an observer it was fascinating to watch.
I did not return to my crisp white blankets of my very comfortable king size bed until six in the morning. Crumbs it has been one hell of a first night in Phuket!!
Its a long journey from Heathrow to Phuket. You travel to Bangkok which takes 11 hours and then you take an internal flight to Phuket which adds another hour or so to an exhausting trip. You need 2 weeks just to recover. I left Heathrow on Friday at 10pm British time and arrived eventually at Phuket Airport on Saturday 5.15pm Thai time.
My own private mini-bus was waiting for me which drove me an hour away to Amari Coral Beach Hotel, a 4 star resort located on the outskirts of Patong Beach. I was pleasantly surprised to have my room upgraded from a superior to a deluxe. My first impressions of my accommodation was that it was a well appointed room with all the luxurious that a 4 star hotel should be equipped with. I was further bowled over by the towel decoration of an elephant on the bed and the small buffet left for me on the coffee table. Full marks for the Amari for their customer service. The long flight with Eva Airways was now distant memory.
After quickly getting familiar with my surroundings and filling myself with the exotic spread laid on for me, I decided to take a bold step on my first night and venture down the infamous Patong Beach and in particular the notorious Bangla Road. It is good 20 minute walk from the hotel. This busy street late at night is something to behold.
I was propositioned at least a dozen times by so called lady boys (or I think they were). They were the most beautiful creatures - slim, refined with gorgeous breasts. You had to jolt your senses to remind yourself that these are Transsexuals both pre and post snip. Nonetheless they were wonderful to look at.
It seemed that there were all colours of the rainbow here on this small strip. Most were looking for some sort of action. As I guessed, there were a preponderance of middle-aged men who had seemed a long time ago to lose the will to exercise with their bulging waistlines. They were accompanied in most part by beautiful young Thai women who looked lovingly in their eyes and probably on their wallets. I suppose both get what they want - men get to have and hold attractive local girls and the women an escape from grinding poverty for security with an elderly European. In reality it's a fair compromise, a mutual contract which is never spoken about but everybody knows.
I ventured into a night club called Tiger. They are filled with 'working girls' aiming to be picked up by any man willing to pay for her drinks and to be taken back to the man's hotel for a price. If you are looking for a Mills and Boone romance in these pick-up joints forget it! What you have is a business transaction with a drop-dead gorgeous Thai girl for a night.
I myself was not tempted even though it is offered on silver plate with bells on. In truth you do not need to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt to get lucky. Men in their home countries who would have more chance of winning the Euro Jackpot than winning the hand of a beautiful fair maiden can with enough cash, in the Land of Smiles go out with an equivalent of an Angeline Joline.
You can see why single men (and more often married men) flock in their thousands to come here. Its a temptation hard to resist for most males. For me as an observer it was fascinating to watch.
I did not return to my crisp white blankets of my very comfortable king size bed until six in the morning. Crumbs it has been one hell of a first night in Phuket!!
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