Phuket Diary - Sunday 4th July 2010

After yesterday's nocturnal escapades I woke up around 10am having only 4 hours sleep. I know darn well this will catch up with me.

Breakfast at the Amari was sumptuous. You had everything from the vast assortment of cereals to eggs and bacon to Thai and Indian cuisine. There was something for even the most fastidious palette.

After eating my body weight in bacon omelette's and Thai curry, I gave myself a tour around the hotel. The Amari is a big resort complex spread over several acres. For instance the the distance from my deluxe to the hotel reception and entrance is a good 5 minute walk up a number of stairs. In addition, the accommodation is up on a steep hill so if you have any mobility issues this might be a concern. The staff at the resort are polite and courteous which you expect from a hotel of this standard.

After relaxing around one of the two swimming pools for most of the day, I ventured out to one of the local bars - a 10 minute walk from the Amari. I met 2 lads from Edmonton, North London who had left their mundane jobs in England to travel across SE Asia for a year. I thought they were brave considering the economic climate.

Our conversation eventually lead to the topic of massage parlours. What is with this place that almost every second establishment on the street there is a group of young pretty Thai women (also not so young and not so pretty Thai women) pestering you for a massage of various sorts. The two Londoners informed me that you can have a perfectly respectable encounter with these ladies for a reasonable price.

The three of us were joined by a young Australian who went into graphic detail as to the extras you could have if you so desire. He stated that the normal etiquette is that half way through your massage you ask for "Bum Bum" and the masseur will itemised the things she is willing to do for an additional payment. The young antipodean boasted that he had hundreds of "Bum Bums" whilst in the country. Imagine my surprise when I learnt that he was only 15 years of age and even more shocking he was telling me this as bold as brass in front of his mum who was only a few feet away. 'Boys will be boys' she quipped. She told me that she was originally from Luton but moved to Australia in the early 1980s. She said in the most matter of fact way, whilst assuring me that she was not a racist that it was the blacks and pakis who were taking over the town which made her move half way way around the around the world. "I was losing my heritage and identity" she moaned. I could not help thinking that the Australian Aboriginal must feel the same way with all the foreigners coming into their country.

I took no offence to her remarks and I admired her honesty. We parted on good company at 3am. I brought her and her off-spring Thai whiskey and beer. Christ her son at only 15 (he looked more 21) could drink like a fish. They breed tough down under.