Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Sri Lanka an island of No Happy Endings

My arrival at Colombo was smooth, with a stopover in Doha via Quatar Airways. The two hour drive to my hotel in Kalutara was similarly without hiccup.

As I entered the gates of the Mermaid hotel and Spa I was greeted with a  warm smile and a firm handshake by the hotel manager who introduce me to his deputy and the  deputy introduce me to his assiassistant and the assistant introduce to the head chief. I felt like bloody royalty. The manager shouted at the 3 staff behind reception enquiring if my room was ready for habitation. They responded in the affirmative. I was escorted to my room by an army of staff all wanted to know about my welfare. The room was deluxe. It was so spacious that you could genuinely hold a five a side football tournament and still have room for changing facilities. The bathroom was amazing. It contained an oversized bath where a dozen large ladies from my local weight watchers could be easily accommodated and still have room for the Enland Rugby scrum forwards.  

However, the best thing about my room upgrade was the view of the palm trees and the ocean. I couldn't help thinking this is the reason why I go to work to earn a small crust so I can journey across the globe staying at fabulous destinations. As my room key was handed to me by the manager he told me that he enjoyed reading my Bali blog, but politely cautioned me in half-jokingly manner that I was unlikely to come anywhere near having a massage happy ending in Sri Lanka. I told him i was happy to hear that was the case. He smiled nervously and while exiting my room he said he was looking forward in reading my first blog despatch. I replied that it would be uploaded in the next few days and I would give him a preview. He again smiled nervously.

My first few hours in the country and I am already mired in controversy. The thought was circulating in my head, as I sank into my gargantuan bath, that this island does not know what's hit them when the Graffster is in town!  Happy ending or not!

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