Bodrum - Beautiful By Day, Beastly By Night

Entering my third day in Bodrum, Turkey. Crumbs it feels like I have been here for three months rather than 72 hours. This maybe an indication of how much partying I've done in this short timeframe. For someone who is on the wrong side of forty that's rather good going if I say so myself. Even before my suitcase was delivered to my room I was already carefully planning my first night-time activity in the country. Dinner (it was Turkish theme night naturally), a few mojitos in the hotel bar before catching the bus and the 25 minute journey into Bodrum. Travelling from the airport to my four star resort you instantly recognise that this is a beautiful part of Turkey - the Aegean Coast. You undoubtedly see why millions flock across Europe and beyond to spend time soaking up what this exquisite part of Turkey has to offer. I was hoping the nightlife would leave me similarly awestruck. I was aware that the month of October the tourist season was coming to a close and the nocturnal entertainment would be sparse. Notwithstanding that, my friends told me that there was only one place to go - the infamous Halikarnas nightclub. A massive complex with a capacity of holding 3000 party people. It was Monday night turning into Tuesday morning but the club was reasonably packed with a cosmopolitan crowd. The local beer was expensive at over £3 a pint. After consuming two I was bold and confident enough to make my way smoothly onto the gargantuan dance floor. I was throwing some shapes and contorting my body in the only way that a former 'Soul Boy' from South London could do. As I was getting into my rhythm doing the butterfly, a mainstay of my dance repertoire, I was attracting some attention - unfortunately, the wrong type. My friends and family have always told me that I have an unusual gift of attracting fat middle-aged women with foreign accents. This time it was no different. The two friends from Bavaria were in their early fifties, both divorced and plainly had over indulged in sauerkraut and currywurst. Their broken English was just about audible over the sound of RnB that the DJ was bumping out. They were types who, now free of commitment from needy husbands, would jet off to the Caribbean and pay to have flings with beach boys with big you know what! These Fraulien were devoid of shame - and who would blame them. We chatted, danced - I showed them how to do the 'bump'. They were impressed. Impressed enough to make overtures to me which I politely refused. Has it come to this where I become the meat in a super sized German sandwich. Thanks but no thanks! I headed back to the hotel frustrated that I could not have bumped into Heidi Klum (Seal you lucky bastard) and her best friend Claudia Schiffer. Tucked comfortably in my double bed just before 4am, I reflected on the last 12 hours. Indeed I met two contrasting sides of Bodrum - the beautiful and the beastly.