Sunday 31 October 2010

The Egypt Diaries - Saturday 30th October 2010

After last night's exploits with the Edinburgh couple, I spent an extra hour in bed before going for my morning jog.

After another luke-warm breakfast, I took the shuttle service to the beach. It was chaotic with few if any sunbeds available. This stretch of beach is used by several hotels including Il Mercato thus not exactly exclusive - something that a 5 star should have or least aim for. On the positive side it did have a bar aptly name the Beach Bar. It was more like a hut serving local beverages in small cups with no bottled water. I stayed for an hour before getting the shuttle service back.

Interestingly, I witness a heated argument which the guest manager Natalya had with an irate couple about bringing beverages into the hotel. The Rastafarian and his English wife had not evidently read the small print about the hotel's ban on food and drink purchased outside. The couple were eventually allowed to bring in their dozen cans of lagers and variety of nibbles. The couple pointed out accusingly that the hotel was not totally all inclusive i.e. the minibar in the room is not free. I did have some sympathy with them on both counts. Many guests I have talked to have fallen foul on the hotel's prohibition. For me Il Mercato should ease up on this ban or make the minibar free.

Had an afternoon swim followed by a toasted tuna sandwich. The sandwich was cold and so were the fries that accompanied it. Left most of it. Had duck for dinner which was surprisingly tasty (and hot for once).

The animation team were encouraging people to jaunt off to the Hard Rock Cafe tonight. I said I would come along and strut my elderly joints to some retro dance beats. In the end my arthritic knee was playing up so I thought an early night would be the safest and healthier option.

The Egypt Diaries - Friday 29 October 2010

The snorkeling was great. Admittedly I did not see as much variety of fish as I anticipated but nonetheless I still enjoyed the experience especially as it was free courtesy of the hotel. If I did not know better they are trying to influence my review - they're doing a good job.

I became friendly on the boat with a mother and daughter couple from Cumbria. Helen the mother was a Deputy Headmistress in a comprehensive in and around the Lake District. Faye her daughter worked in the private sector doing something unusual I forgot what. Like her mother, Faye was petite, blond, very attractive with Barbara Windsor size breasts to die for. I would of married her there and then if she asked me to. Her right foot was adorned with a flowery tattoo, which she later told me that she designed herself.

I must say a boat-load of bikini-clad lithe women (mostly Russian with their partners) made me incredibly hot and bothered. Could not wait to return to the hotel for a barclays.

The evening rooftop entertainment has been improving. The guitarist tonight belted out some decent covers in 3 different languages quite a feat.

Whilst enjoying the show met a fabulous couple Davey and Ravi. Davey is a Scot from Edinburgh. Rugged, handsome with great pecs. Could probably bench-press Dawn French without too much bother. His girlfriend Ravi was a beautiful vision of Indian origin. No wonder he fell for her I would. Spent the evening and early morning debating the positive and negative aspects of the hotel, rude Russian guests and the consummate service provided by the Egyptian staff at the property.

I retired from the bar to Davey and Ravi's room for a few vodka and cokes. They ask me to join them for Ravi's 26th birthday on Sunday. Two of her friends were coming over from England for the celebration. How could I refuse an offer like that.

It was 2am before I left their superior slightly worse for wear. For me it was too late to venture to Naam Bay. I had more than enough entertainment for the night.

Friday 29 October 2010

The Egypt Diaries - 28 October 2010

Wake up - run/gym, swim and breakfast. Getting into a routine now which is idea for me.

The Ukrainian Guest Manager Natalya has been helping me with arranging my excursions. I booked the snorkeling for Friday. Mr Aldo very generously liaised with the Diving company and got this for free. Writing a review (and hopefully a positive one) does have its benefits. The general manager is also looking into my other excursions I have planned in order to get the very best deal. Nice man.

I have now fully accepted that I have been robbed and all my worldly goods have been stripped from my home including my treasured Dell computer. I hope those people who have been involved in this theft burn in hellfire and damnation. That's enough negativity I am going to have a great time in Egypt - a curse on those bastard criminals.

In the evening did my customary circuit of the hotel. Took me 35 minutes. In the heat I would think it must be the equivalent of doing 6 miles around Battersea Park.

After dinner ascended to the rooftop for the evening entertainment. The head of animation Jac was doing a turn with fireballs and earlier on we had an Egyptian dance twirling a flashing blanket over his head. Not the greatest spectacle that I have witnessed but it was a country-mile better than the awful Karaoke singer we had the previous nights. His rendition of Bob Marley's No Woman No Cry was a vicious assault on the ears.

The evening continued in Naam Bay. Did not stay for long knowing I had an early start for the snorkeling expedition. We were to visit Ras Mohamed National Park - I understand the best place for this type of excursion outside Australian's Barrier Reef.

Thursday 28 October 2010

The Egypt Diaries - 27 October 2010

Up at 7am. Spent 30 minutes running around the hotel. Although early in the morning it was still phenomenally hot. Must have lost 10 pounds in sweat. Most of that was regained at breakfast. I decided that I would eat only breakfast and dinner and skip lunch. Its was my sacriface for combating the ever increasing waistline.

My day was spent sleeping and watching TV. There are enough American channels to keep one's interest. As the day turned into night I made my way towards Naam Bay. I returned to Bus Stop. I met a very interesting man named Mitchell Johnson. He was ex SAS. Over a beer or two he told me his experiences in the Falklands War as the advance guard. He was parachuted into Goose Green 2 weeks before the main Task Force arrived. As a young paratrooper he was involved in the Bloody Sunday events. Completely facscinating. Now semi-retired he works for an organisation called MFO (he did tell me what it stood for but I have forgotton). I am sure I will meet up with him again before my vacation is over.

I was able to get into Hard Rock Cafe free of charge. It was 1am and I did not leave until well after 3am. The music was loud and pumping a good time was had.

The Egypt Diaries - 26 October 2010

I woke up in my kingsize bed, covering the Egyptian silk sheets in sweat. I suddenly realise that I may not have secured my front door fully. The threat of being burgled now weighs heavy on my mind and will do so for the rest of my trip.

There are people in my building who cut their mother's throat, let alone mine to have an opportunity to ransack someone's property. I texted my good friend Sheelah who does not live far from me if she could make the journey and check that I have not been broken into. Her text reply read that she was unwilling to do it. They say a friend in need is a friend indeed - bollocks!! The proverb should really read "A friend in need is a bloody pest".

If I have been burgled I have a very good idea who the culprit would be. A middle-aged layabout who does window cleaning on the side but claims unemployment and a vast array of other benefits which he can scrounge of the state illegally. He probably has more disposable income than I do. What compounds it all is that there are other people he lives with who are of the same criminal persuasion and who would have no qualms if the opportunity arises to steal things that clearly do not belong to them. Our estate has really gone down hill over the years.

The worst thing this workshy scumbag saw me leaving the building with my massive suitcase. This filth would put 2 and 2 together and see this as a golden opportunity. I am worried very worried. However, there is not much I can do whilst in Egypt. I have to brace myself in the knowledge that when I return on the 8 November 2010 my world is going to be turned upside down - what a bloody homecoming.

Bearing this all in mind my first full day in Egypt went well. It began at 7am with a jog on the running machine in the hotel's health club. However, the so called health club is name only as it consists of the said machine, a cycle and one multi-exercise machine all contained in a room not big enough to swing the proverbial cat without the feline being adorned with body armour and a helmet.

I then went for a dip in one of two rooftop pools. There is a third pool and by far the largest(almost olympic size) located in the basement. Breakfast was fine. One small critique is that the food could be warmer.

Mr Aldo the General Manager of the Mercato introduce himself to me. I would describe him as charasmatic and personable. He was passionate about the hotel and its potential. Mr Aldo admitted that there were and still are teething problems but this was expected when the hotel opened its doors for a soft opening on the 7th October. He anticipated that the property would be fully operational by March 2011 with a fully built health spa and 3 Al La Carte Restaurants all up and running.

I left our first, and suspect many other gatherings together over the next 2 weeks, enthused about the Iberotel Il Mercato. I hope it lives up to the manager's expectations and my own.

I later strolled out to the promenade to locate an internet cafe. I did but it was closed. The rest of the afternoon I spent in my room sheltering from the oppressive heat. I watched Spiderman on the flatscreen. At 6pm it was time for exercise and on this occasion a run outside taking in great views of the red mountains at night.

Dinner was buffet-style. A good variety but as before the food could of been hotter. The desserts were sumptious. Its going to be difficult not to increase my waistband before my holiday is over.

The night was spent in Naam Bay, successfully finding an internet cafe and checking out the nightclubs of Pacha, Big Budda and the Hard Rock Cafe. The entrance fees for all were very expensive. I decided to venture into Bus Stop as it was free to enter. They had Karoke it was good fun.

I returned by taxi just before 1am. Going back to my thoughts this morning, there was nothing I could do about the situation so I decided to put on a brave face and enjoy my Egyptian experience and think about the other staff when my plane lands on the runway at Gatwick.

The Egypt Diaries - Monday 25th October 2010

I flew out from Gatwick with Thomson. Not an ardent fan of the airline. The seats are so close its practically knees into chest in the foetal position for the whole of the 5 hour flight. Crumbs its only bearable knowing what awaits me - a 2 week vacation staying what I hope is going to a good quality 5 star brand new hotel.

After the usual formalities at the Airport I was driven by shuttle bus to the Iberotel Il Mercato hotel. At first sight I was impressed. The pictures on the company's website were for once a true reflection of what I actually saw on a sultry Monday evening.

I was escorted to my room and I was similarly bowled over by my accommodation for the next fortnight. Although small, it had everything I needed; flatscreen TV, plenty of cupboard space and a vast array of toiletries in the bathroom which included a biday (who the hell uses this). The Kingsize bed was firm but comfortable. The view from the balcony looked out to the front gates which were manned by 2 burly security guards with police-style batons strapped to their sides.

After I settled in and unburden by suitcase of most of its contents I took a stroll towards the Mercato Promenade. By now it was close to midnight. The promenade had the usual branded shops but nothing distinguished it from any other shopping arcade that you would find in England.

As I walked back to the hotel my initial misgivings about booking this hotel were unwarranted. I was reasonably satisfied that although this was a leap in the dark I was happy that I seemed to have landed on firm ground

Friday 15 October 2010

Review of Iberotel IL Mercato Hotel - Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt

I have been asked to review this newly opened property in Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt by a number of interested publications. I am flying out on Monday 25 October and staying at this 5 star luxury accommodation for two weeks.

The hotel was only launched on the 7 October 2010. I am guessing that being brand new there maybe some initial teething problems and possibly not all the facilities advertised by the owners Jaz/Iberotel on their website promoting this hotel, may yet be fully operational. However, the Jaz/Iberotel organisation are renowned within the travel industry for providing superb accommodation, so it would be interesting to find out if this hotel further enhances its reputation. We shall see and all will be revealed in my features.

There has been a lot of interest about this accommodation on TripAdvisor. Fortunately, I will be one of first ones to write a review about the hotel on this website.

As I have never been to Egypt, I will take the opportunity to highlight the best places to go at night and the various excursions on offer for the holidaymaker. I also understand that it is one of the best places in the world to go scuba diving.

I will be keeping a regular dairy of my exploits in the land of the Pharaohs.