The Egypt Diaries - Saturday 6th November 2010

Cairo was smelly, dirty and in fact aesthetically an ugly city, but I loved it. Driving into the city you could taste the smog and car fumes at the back of your throat.

After 7 hours of the most uncomfortable coach journey imaginable with my fellow Russian passengers of the most uncouth kind, I was extremely thankful that we had finally reached our first destination - the world famous Egyptian Museum. Our guide a burly Egyptian rattled through a brief history of the ancient Egyptians before we entered the museum. We had only 35 minutes but I could of easily spent 35 hours - very frustrating.

Strangely (or maybe not so), out of all the amazing activates on display (including the iconic face mask) the one thing that stood out for me was King Tutankhamen's actual underwear which was three thousand years old. They were bright white with only a few patches of brown stains. I kept thinking that my underwear are in a worst condition in 3 days let alone 3 millennium.

From the museum we travelled by boat on the Nile before having lunch. In the afternoon it was to the Pyramids in Giza - jaw-dropingly amazing; one of the 7th wonders of world; truly awesome. The time spent at the Pyramids was laughably short. I made sure I took enough pictures of the famous sphinx with me in it.

Before heading away from Cairo we were forced into a perfume shop. Inevitably we spent more time in this shopping arcade than we did at the historical sites. I swear some of the Russians were more fascinated by the myriad of perfumes on sale than the bloody Pyramids - very odd.

The time spent in Cairo to see the treasures was brief but all said and done it was definitely worth the visit. In contrast, the coach trip there and back could not of have been more unpleasant if you tried.

The person who picked me up at the hotel was rude and aggressive. As I was bundled onto the coach it was packed full of Russians. Before we even set off to Cairo there was a fierce altercation between a passenger who rotated back her seat so much that the passenger behind was clearly uncomfortable. Although asked politely on several occasions the fat Ruskie refused to bring her seat forward. One passenger was so irate he stormed off the coach demanding his money back.

I texted my tour rep and complained about the member of staff. He asked me if I wanted to continue with the journey. Grudgingly, I said yes. This was once in a life time opportunity to visit Cairo whatever the hardship I was enduring.

During the drive there was another flare up between the same group of passengers which almost came to blows - an ugly incident which further marred the journey. On the return home we should of been back an hour earlier but were inexcusably delayed at the perfume shop.

Apart from Cairo another agreeable event was meeting Tom a Finance lawyer from Finsbury, but soon relocating he said to Beijing, China in the New Year. Convivial chap, we stuck together for the whole trip. We swapped emails and mobile information before the end.

I was determined whatever time we got back that I was going to the Hard Rock Cafe for a boogie and drink. I was dropped off at 1.00am - left hotel at 1.20 and at HRC by 1.45. To my surprise I ran into the animation team who were there celebrating Jac's birthday proper. I had some birthday cake, was offered vodka and in return purchased Jac a beer.

The animation girls and I strutted our stuff to some great RnB rhythms on the dance floor. I did not leave HRC until 4.00am. It had been a long 30 hours or so with not too much quality sleep, but experiences I will cherish for a very long time indeed.

The Egypt Diaries - Friday 5th November 2010

I had about 3 hours sleep before miraculously getting up at 8am for a jog in the unyielding heat. To my shame whilst running I was caught short and needed to relieve my myself Paula Radcliffe style. I don't think my stomach can stomach the rich, vast and gargantuan amounts of food and alcohol I consume on a daily basis - I tend to live the style of a fat emperor whilst on holiday.

Going back to my predicament I found a place behind a brick wall where I was able to release last night's contents without too much embarrassment either to myself or anybody else watching this awful spectacle.

I spent the rest of the daylight hours in my air conditioned room relaxing, shielding myself away from the oppressive heat. A few glasses of whiskey and lemonade helped smooth the transition.

The evening I watched Dianne perform. She was nervous because Mr Aldo was milling around the hotel. The flutist wanted to be at her best particularly as her contract was being reviewed. There was no need to worry. As she was performing Mr Aldo came over and greeted me and said how good she was and I enthusiastically agreed, all in earshot of her. Dianne was in tears afterwards thanking me profusely. I insisted that I had little input and it was not my decision whether her stay at the hotel would be extended. Although I protested, I reluctantly took her thanks and gratitude.

I had delightful conversation with one of the Russian animators. Gosh only 20 but she has packed so much in her life. As usual I was envious of her beauty, age and experience. As the night drew on she explained the concepts behind her many tattoos that adorned her body. She insisted that they were all historical records of significant events that occurred in her life. I kept thinking to myself that she's only bloody 20 - I need to get out more.

I watched some TV before preparing myself for my pick-up at 2am. I was excited by Cairo but dreading the 14 hour round journey to the Egyptian capital. Things you do for a bit of culture.